This time I want to talk to you about being able to receive. One of the really common things that I hear in my Tantra training workshops, and if I’m on a one-to-one quite often I get people saying to me, “I’m much more comfortable giving then I am actually receiving.”
If you just kind of ponder that idea, there’s something about when we’re giving something to somebody, it’s kind of like a one-way flow. My experience is that we don’t have to make ourselves vulnerable, it’s like if you’re giving to somebody, as long as you’re in your heart, you’re in your body, and you’re giving it with love there’s actually nothing required of you other than giving to that person and being in that other person’s energy, being in that other person’s receiving.
But if you were truly receiving, if you were able to truly receive, there’s something for me about being vulnerable to receiving. In Tantra we explore the idea of being able to be vulnerable, to receive and express what that’s creating in your body, what that is creating in you.
We talked about Tantra being breath, sound, movement, and the idea being that when you’re receiving that you’re expressing the sensation of what’s going on for you through breath, sound, movement. But when you start to make yourself vulnerable, and when you start to express the sensations of something going on in your body, it’s like you’re letting down the security fences.
There’s a level of vulnerability when you’re very much in an authentic experience of receiving, there’s no letting back, there’s no holding anything back, there’s no time to filter anything. That’s what I call the authenticity of a person, that you are able to just express exactly what’s going on for you and trust the freedom of that expression in that moment without needing to filter it. So there’s a vulnerability of that because you have no control of what’s going to come out of you, and often you might be surprised by what comes up or you might also be surprised about the feelings and sensations that you’re feeling as that’s going on for you.
For me the cost of not doing that, the cost of not being vulnerable, or opening yourself, or expressing what’s going on. is what I would call isolation. I see many men that tell me they feel untouched, that in their sex they’re always giving out and they’re not really receiving anything back, and they kind of feel isolated. I think there’s something about accepting that you might be following that pattern of behavior that you might be isolating yourself and it might be because of being frightened of being vulnerable to express what’s really going on for you.
That’s my invitation today, sitting with that idea of where do you make yourself vulnerable to truly receive and how do you allow yourself to express
what it is that’s really happening in your body. I think that is sort of like some meditation or just some kind of sitting with that idea. So that next time you’re in sex what you can do is start to help there be some form of equality in a shared experience, and you are opening yourself to receiving. After we can tell yourself it’s the other person, the other person didn’t touch me right, the other person didn’t do this right, the other person didn’t look at me.
What can happen is we can make the other person wrong, when actually it could be to do with us. I think that’s an uncomfortable truth, that actually it’s never to do with the other person it’s always to do with us and our ability in this scenario to be able to open yourself up, make yourself vulnerable, and be able to express what’s truly going on.
Let me tell you the prize here, the prize of being able to do this, is sensations of sensations, or the experience of feeling that you’ve been really met and satisfied, but not just satisfied and eating a cream cake but deeply, deeply touched and deeply, deeply satisfied.
So my homework for you today is about sitting with the question of how do you allow yourself to truly receive and to truly express what you’re receiving.
Good luck, I look forward to hear how you get on with that. Take care, thank you, bye bye.